The magic question for overcoming apathy

Many people with Parkinson’s disease experience apathy – a lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern. I can waste an entire day letting apathy sit in the driver’s seat. Bills need to be paid? Don’t care. Laundry’s not done? Don’t care. Time to pack for vacation? Don’t care. … You get the idea.

How do we overcome this so we can keep participating in the things we want and need to do?

The magic question

Ask yourself: How do I want to feel?

For me, I want to feel like I showed up for myself and the people around me. I want to feel productive. I want to feel like I made good use of my time. The alternative is not pretty – quality time not spent, a to-do list with nothing checked off … Yuck!

Getting from here to there

So, how does this magic question work? First, it is NOT a silver bullet. This takes practice.

Next, after you identify how you want to feel, ask:

• What do I need to THINK so I can feel the way I want to feel?
• What do I need to DO so I can feel the way I want to feel?

You see, your thoughts inform your feelings, and your feelings influence your actions.

Thoughts >>> Feelings >>> Actions

The good news: You control your thoughts.

How does this really work?

Here’s my real-life example: I struggle to be consistent with exercise. You’ve likely heard lots of advice about how exercise is the most important thing people with Parkinson’s disease can do for themselves—sometimes I wonder if it’s law that anything about Parkinson’s has to say that. LOL.

I digress … I put on my calendar that I am going to exercise at 3 p.m. Then, 3 p.m. comes around. I don’t want to exercise. Maybe I’m tired, or I’m in the middle of something else. I can think of 50 reasons not to exercise. My favorite: It won’t make a difference. Hello, apathy!

If I can remember to ask myself, How do I want to feel?, then I can work through my apathy. Again, this takes practice.

I usually say I want to feel as healthy and as normal as possible for as long as possible.

So, what do I need to THINK and DO so I can feel the way I want to feel?

• First, I examine my thoughts. Are they true and useful? It’s not true or useful that I can’t exercise because I’m tired, or that it won’t make a difference if I don’t exercise. I can CHOOSE a better thought, like … I know I will move better after I exercise … or, I will have more fun hiking with friends if I’ve been exercising. I know those thoughts are true and useful for me.
• Next, I need to exercise for at least 10 minutes, or maybe 5 if I’ve really been a couch potato lately. My doctor says exercise 30 minutes a day, though if I start with 5 or 10 minutes and get some momentum and some confidence, I can work up to 30 minutes from there.

Let’s practice: Get a free Anti-Apathy Worksheet you can use whenever you need to kick apathy out of the driver’s seat.

Photo by Ike louie Natividad via Pexels.